Ira Kaufman Chapel

What do we do with leftover food from the shiva tray? Ah, the eternal question!

The Jewish people have always got one thing right – the tradition of sitting shiva following the death of someone. We gather together as a community, providing strength and support of friends, family and neighbors, to help the bereaved get through the process of grieving. It is cathartic and enables the mourners to set time aside to dwell on the passing of the loved one, before picking up the "busy-ness" and stress of normal daily life.

Those who have sat shiva or have visited a shiva house know there are several rituals involved. Who hasn’t noticed the pitcher of water outside the open front door for those returning from the cemetery; covered mirrors; the memorial candle; and low chairs for the mourners? Serving a meal of condolence (seudat ha-havra'ah) to mourners upon their return from the cemetery is a message from friends that life must go on.

And what would a shiva be without the ritual of food? Most pivotal moments in Jewish life, from a baby’s bris, a youngster’s bar- or bat-mitzvah, to Shabbat and holidays (except fast days), incorporate eating. Food is a tried and true component of both happy and sad times. It’s comforting and universal.

At a typical shiva home, friends generously band together and organize shiva trays to be delivered from area caterers and delis to the bereaved to free them from cooking. In some cases, the family is given several trays over the course of the shiva period. The food is traditional, with cold cut platters and hot meals being the norm. It is meant for the family, although some will invite visitors to eat with them.

There is often plenty of food left over and it seems a waste to throw it away. But, before you package some up for tomorrow’s lunch at your own house, be aware it is not proper for visitors and other family members to take food home from a shiva house. Is there an alternative?

Certainly there is. It is acceptable and commendable to donate the food to a charitable cause. There are several area soup kitchens that would appreciate it. . Contact them and arrange to drop the food off to them. Some of their clients may never have tasted kugel or latkes before, but thoroughly enjoy them, I’ve been told.