By Joshua Tobias
I walked into a shiva house recently for a family who recently had a funeral at our chapel. I had not met them prior to making the arrangements just two days beforehand. However, when I walked in, it felt like entering the house of a family member. There were hugs, kisses, tears and, overall, just a really comfortable feeling.
It made me realize something. I used to think that we were here to service families in the Detroit Jewish community. I now understand that this community is one big family and The Ira Kaufman Chapel is a part of that family. This is true on several levels. Over the last almost 70 years, we have assisted so many families, that it is somewhat unusual for us to arrange a funeral for a family whom we have not worked with in the past.
There is a comfort that goes along with that familiarity. We are able to share what arrangements were made the last time a member of their family died, which is often helpful in the current decision making process.
I recently met with two sisters who were looking to pre-arrange a funeral for their mother, who is very ill. They came to the chapel without a real idea of what they wanted to do. I told them what was done for their grandparents 30 and 40 years ago, what had taken place. This then snowballed into a conversation about what we had arranged for other members of their family. One sister even remarked that we seemed to know more about her family than she does.
That is the point. If we’ve assisted your family in the past, you know that we are there when you want us. It isn’t only because we have been doing this for almost 70 years, but because we are a part of your family. Be comforted in knowing that your family at The Ira Kaufman Chapel is here for you in your time of need.
For those of you whom we have yet to meet, you can be assured that The Ira Kaufman Chapel provides quality and caring support and will be there for you.
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Thursday, January 14, 2010
In death a greater legacy
Elvis Presley would have celebrated his 75th birthday on January 8. Thousands were on hand at the Graceland mansion to commemorate the occasion. I am totally fascinated with Elvis, not because I loved his music, but rather the fact that, since his death on August 16, 1977, he has been annually one of the highest earning entertainers with his estate bringing in almost $100 million dollars a year. These numbers far exceed his earnings while he was alive.
Michael Jackson at age 50 found himself tens of millions of dollars in debt. So, he was planning his final "farewell" tour when he died of a drug overdose, the drug allegedly administered by his personal physician to help him sleep. Since his death six months ago, his estate has earned an estimated more than $100 million, with his death making a greater impact than he was able to when alive.
Which brings me to Marabel Chanin (see my June 8, 2009 blog). Follow the logic. Marabel Chanin was the woman who became known through a moving report by reporter Brad Edwards of Fox 2 News. She had lived in a veritable fortress mirroring Fort Knox on a street that looked more like a war zone than a neighborhood. Brad wondered why she stayed. It was her home, even though a 9-1-1 call played on air displayed her terror as gunfire rang out amid the makeshift dope houses surrounding her. “If I scream, who will hear me?" was the question that captured the attention of viewers watching the report.
Marabel died on December 26, 2008, but was not buried until May 2009. You see, with no family around, Marabel apparently died peacefully and anonymously - so much so that, until Brad was doing a story on unclaimed bodies at the Wayne County Morgue. He reran his piece announcing that Marabel's body had sat unclaimed until a distant relative called. The relative remembered attending Marabel’s mother's funeral at The Ira Kaufman Chapel long ago.
Brad announced on air the graveside funeral, and much to the surprise of Rabbi Loss, Cantor Neil Michaels and myself, more than 50 people attended her service. It seems that Marabel's death finally brought to her a sense of family that she had lacked for much of her 88 years. Rabbi Loss commented that he had not officiated at a funeral where the deceased had never met those that had come to pay their respects. Marabel Chanin in death seemed to have had a greater impact in death than in her years granted on this earth. No, her estate was not earning millions of dollars, but her death brought perspective to those touched by her story.
Norm Powell took his family to Oakview Cemetery before Thanksgiving and spoke to his family of the blessings of their family, the meaning of Thanksgiving. He called to ask what arrangements have been made to erect a headstone. I met him at the cemetery with Dave Huber of Monument Center. I was touched to not only see fresh flowers on Marabel's grave, but advised by the staff at Oakview that the grave receives fresh flowers regularly and has a constant stream of visitors.
As we stood at the grave, we discussed what the headstone should say. Marabel's stone will read as follows:
"She cried, "If I screamed, who would hear me?"
We heard you
Marabel Chanin
TEACHER
An unveiling of her stone will be held in the spring. I'm assuming Brad Edwards will announce this service too, as he reviews the coverage of Marabel's life and death. I'm guessing that occasion’s tribute to her will once again act as a reminder to all of us to count our blessings for the love of family - Marabel's true legacy.
Michael Jackson at age 50 found himself tens of millions of dollars in debt. So, he was planning his final "farewell" tour when he died of a drug overdose, the drug allegedly administered by his personal physician to help him sleep. Since his death six months ago, his estate has earned an estimated more than $100 million, with his death making a greater impact than he was able to when alive.
Which brings me to Marabel Chanin (see my June 8, 2009 blog). Follow the logic. Marabel Chanin was the woman who became known through a moving report by reporter Brad Edwards of Fox 2 News. She had lived in a veritable fortress mirroring Fort Knox on a street that looked more like a war zone than a neighborhood. Brad wondered why she stayed. It was her home, even though a 9-1-1 call played on air displayed her terror as gunfire rang out amid the makeshift dope houses surrounding her. “If I scream, who will hear me?" was the question that captured the attention of viewers watching the report.
Marabel died on December 26, 2008, but was not buried until May 2009. You see, with no family around, Marabel apparently died peacefully and anonymously - so much so that, until Brad was doing a story on unclaimed bodies at the Wayne County Morgue. He reran his piece announcing that Marabel's body had sat unclaimed until a distant relative called. The relative remembered attending Marabel’s mother's funeral at The Ira Kaufman Chapel long ago.
Brad announced on air the graveside funeral, and much to the surprise of Rabbi Loss, Cantor Neil Michaels and myself, more than 50 people attended her service. It seems that Marabel's death finally brought to her a sense of family that she had lacked for much of her 88 years. Rabbi Loss commented that he had not officiated at a funeral where the deceased had never met those that had come to pay their respects. Marabel Chanin in death seemed to have had a greater impact in death than in her years granted on this earth. No, her estate was not earning millions of dollars, but her death brought perspective to those touched by her story.
Norm Powell took his family to Oakview Cemetery before Thanksgiving and spoke to his family of the blessings of their family, the meaning of Thanksgiving. He called to ask what arrangements have been made to erect a headstone. I met him at the cemetery with Dave Huber of Monument Center. I was touched to not only see fresh flowers on Marabel's grave, but advised by the staff at Oakview that the grave receives fresh flowers regularly and has a constant stream of visitors.
As we stood at the grave, we discussed what the headstone should say. Marabel's stone will read as follows:
"She cried, "If I screamed, who would hear me?"
We heard you
Marabel Chanin
TEACHER
An unveiling of her stone will be held in the spring. I'm assuming Brad Edwards will announce this service too, as he reviews the coverage of Marabel's life and death. I'm guessing that occasion’s tribute to her will once again act as a reminder to all of us to count our blessings for the love of family - Marabel's true legacy.
Monday, June 22, 2009
Updating my Dad
As Father's Day approached and the 29th anniversary of my Dad’s death is about six weeks away, I was thinking about bringing him up to date over lunch. The conversation might go as follows:
As Father's Day approached and the 29th anniversary of my Dad’s death is about six weeks away, I was thinking about bringing him up to date over lunch. The conversation might go as follows:
“How's my cute little grandson Ari doing?”
“Ari was 16 months old when you died, Dad and he's now 30, married, expecting his first child, our first grandchild and your first great-grandchild.”
“What does he do to support himself?”
“He and your other grandson Chad, who’s 28, own a golf club manufacturing company called Scratch Golf. They started it from scratch and have become a force in the golf industry worldwide.” I envision my dad smiling from ear to ear, not only for their apparent success, but having two Techners successfully working together.
“Just the two boys?"
“No, Dad. We also have Stephanie. She's 23, has her degree in Sustainable Agriculture, manages a farm and she and her boyfriend have dreams of owning their own farm.”
“Does she even look like her mother?”
“Hard to tell their high school graduation pictures apart.”
“Your mother must be proud.”
“Yes, Dad, she was proud. Mom died peacefully six years ago after a decade-long battle with Alzheimers. She loved those kids.”
I would then tell him of his other two sons – my brothers – his four more grandchildren and how each is in a very good place. He would have been so happy to know the Techner name was going strong.
“Dad, brace yourself with this news. This country just elected its first black President. Gas is at $3.00 a gallon, down from $4.00 a gallon last summer. Remember General Motors? It’s in bankruptcy court and was taken off the New York Stock Exchange because the value of its stock no longer warrants a place on the exchange. Chrysler is also in bankruptcy, but it looks like Fiat's going to own them. Oh, and Merrill Lynch, the company that handled your stocks, is gone. Bunches of banks and insurance companies have imploded - the government’s trying to save them by pumping a couple hundred billion their way to save them -that's billion with a B.”
Dad asks me about the device was on the table. “It's a cell phone, Dad. I can virtually call anyone anywhere in the world on it. Oh, I can also email and send texts all over the world. It's really pretty handy.”
“Where's the wire to hook it up?”
“That's why they call it a cell.”
I can see he is overwhelmed. I want to tell him about 9/11, but what is the point? I just hope that, knowing we are all well, he can rest in peace, assured that his legacy to his family is safe.
“Ari was 16 months old when you died, Dad and he's now 30, married, expecting his first child, our first grandchild and your first great-grandchild.”
“What does he do to support himself?”
“He and your other grandson Chad, who’s 28, own a golf club manufacturing company called Scratch Golf. They started it from scratch and have become a force in the golf industry worldwide.” I envision my dad smiling from ear to ear, not only for their apparent success, but having two Techners successfully working together.
“Just the two boys?"
“No, Dad. We also have Stephanie. She's 23, has her degree in Sustainable Agriculture, manages a farm and she and her boyfriend have dreams of owning their own farm.”
“Does she even look like her mother?”
“Hard to tell their high school graduation pictures apart.”
“Your mother must be proud.”
“Yes, Dad, she was proud. Mom died peacefully six years ago after a decade-long battle with Alzheimers. She loved those kids.”
I would then tell him of his other two sons – my brothers – his four more grandchildren and how each is in a very good place. He would have been so happy to know the Techner name was going strong.
“Dad, brace yourself with this news. This country just elected its first black President. Gas is at $3.00 a gallon, down from $4.00 a gallon last summer. Remember General Motors? It’s in bankruptcy court and was taken off the New York Stock Exchange because the value of its stock no longer warrants a place on the exchange. Chrysler is also in bankruptcy, but it looks like Fiat's going to own them. Oh, and Merrill Lynch, the company that handled your stocks, is gone. Bunches of banks and insurance companies have imploded - the government’s trying to save them by pumping a couple hundred billion their way to save them -that's billion with a B.”
Dad asks me about the device was on the table. “It's a cell phone, Dad. I can virtually call anyone anywhere in the world on it. Oh, I can also email and send texts all over the world. It's really pretty handy.”
“Where's the wire to hook it up?”
“That's why they call it a cell.”
I can see he is overwhelmed. I want to tell him about 9/11, but what is the point? I just hope that, knowing we are all well, he can rest in peace, assured that his legacy to his family is safe.
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