Helping parents tell kids the truth about death

In discussing with parents what approach to take with their children, it is very revealing to find out what, if anything, they have told them. So, when we finally come face to face, either at home or at our chapel, I usually ask the kids if they know what happened that brought us together. “Grampa died.” “Gramma went to Heaven last night.” Whatever explanation is offered, I am well on my way to simplifying the concept of "physical death."

“Let me explain what has happened – your Grandfather's BODY STOPPED WORKING: His heart stopped beating and his brain stopped working, so nothing in the body works. He still has eyes, but he can't see; has a nose, but can't smell; has a mouth- can't talk, can't eat; has ears, can't hear; doesn't have to pee and poop any more.”

When a young child hears that Grandfather doesn't have to pee and poop any more, they realize he's really dead.

“Why doesn't Grandpa need his body anymore? Because it doesn't work. We don't need his body anymore. Why - it doesn't work. So, we have to do something with the body. Do we hide him in a closet, put him in the basement, or the trunk of a car? What do we do with the body?”

Most children are aware of the answer to that question, but they and their parents have never really considered this one: "Why do we bury people?"

The answer? “We have 6.8 billion people who live in the world today. But there have been hundreds of billions of people who have lived before us. If we didn't do something with the body after it stopped working, you and I would live in a world of dead people!”

After a chorus of Yuks and Oooohhhh's, a very simple explanation of physical death has been achieved.

What makes it easier to explain physical death and to comprehend it is that physical death is a fact. We understand it; there are no mysteries connected to physical death. We know what happens to the body over time.

In my next blog, I will tackle a far more complicated concept of death, that of "Spiritual Death," what people BELIEVE happens when a person dies - is there a heaven, a soul, an after-life?